Artist's Statement

I recently finished the book by Dave Cullen titled "Columbine" about the massacre that took place in 1999 at the Colorado high school Columbine. After reading the book I realized that everything talked about in that book is my reason for creating film. The film talked about the massacre itself where 15 people died and dozens more were injured. It then went on to talk about the two killers and explain their psyches. Through my films I strive to describe, research and explain others who are different and sometime struggling. I am obsessed with the Columbine massacre and would love to make a film from the book I just read. Ever since I heard of the massacre in 1999 when I was 10 years old and attending a elementary school only twenty minutes away from the terror, I have felt a connection to the story and have wanted to share the story with others who may not be familiar with it and the individuals involved. 

The book not only was descriptive and acknowledged every aspect related to the shooting but it also explained itself. It was extremely well researched and everything that was said was said with confidence and knowledge. The book also went out on a ledge and describe the killers in a better light than most other people have before. The author went into depth describing the killers characteristics and did not hesitate to state their positive attributes. The stance that the author took towards the killers is the same stance I like to take towards any characters in my films regardless if they are fictional or nonfictional. There have been so many misconceptions about the events that occurred and the shooters intentions and reasons for acting in such a violent manner. This book, unlike many others, clears the facts and the intentions of the killers, giving answers to those who needed them. 

Not only the setting of the book but the characters, ideas and actions of the film inspire me to make films and create art. I grew up in Colorado and am familiar with the high school Columbine. Friends of mine attended years later and I knew some families that had relatives involved in the shooting. The people of the book are much like myself causing me to want to explain them and even explain those that are different from myself, like the killers. I am intrigued by school shootings and want to investigate the causes and preventions related to them. 

Although I realize I can not make every one of my films involve a school shooting. The ideas and execution of Cullen's book is a perfect outline for the way I like to go about making my art. His passion and knowledge of the subject shone through in his words and I can only hope that my passion and love for my film can shine through in the images I present to the world. 

Tell No One: A French Masterpiece (Extra Blog Post)

I am taking CTCS 394, which is a course on postmodern films. It is taught by Drew Casper and discusses films from 1977 onward. We saw many intriguing films throughout the semester but the one that stuck with me was “Tell No One”, a French film that was made in 2007. It was directed by Guillaume Canet and was based on the novel of the same title that was written by Harlan Coben. The film was written by Guillaume Canet and Philippe Lefebvre and stars Francois Cluzet.

 

Initially, I was hesitant about the film since it was foreign and I typically become distracted by the subtitles but this film was different. It was a suspense thriller about a man who lost his wife in a mysterious murder and is now being accused for her murder. As the film unravels it displays a string of deceptions and lies that only in the end are understood. It was beautifully shot and acted making the subtitles almost invisible. At the beginning of class my teacher told us not to try and figure out the movie, but instead let it just happen and go along for the ride. That is exactly what I did and it was more enjoyable than any thrill ride I have ever been on. I highly recommend the film, which would have won the Oscar for best foreign film but was disqualified because it was released in American theatres for over three months. I would definitely urge others to tell everyone about this intense, refreshing beautiful cinematic experience. 

Manson Inspiration: Personal Blog Post

Marilyn Manson has been seen as a sadistic shock rocker who kills kittens at his concerts. Even though the thought of him killing kittens at rock concerts is absolutely ludicrous and false, he does engage in crude and provocative movements on stage. However, it is that exact shock he creates with his music and also actions that I find to be so inspirational. I am a filmmaker and he is a writer and musician but I find links between his music and my filmmaking that enable me to draw from his art.

Manson whose birth name is Brian Warner was born in Ohio in 1969. Throughout his young life he was teased and harassed for his appearance and demeanor, which fed his desire to rebel against the typical. He was tall and gawky and instead of hiding his physical appearance he embraced it by wearing platform shoes and lingerie. All of his lyrics are honest and a wonderful mixture of disturbing and beautiful. I have been a fan of his for over nine years and I find that he is very misunderstood by many people.

 

His art is not the only aspect of my life that he has influenced. I find him to be a very intelligent and honorable person. By reading his book I have learned that he loves animals and has a close relationship with his parents. After watching the documentary “Bowling for Columbine” about the school-shooting massacre that occurred fifteen minutes from my hometown, Manson’s interview was the only thing that stuck out in my mind. When Michael Moore asked Manson what he would have said to the two school shooters Manson responded that he would not have said anything, but rather would have listened to what they had to say. I thought that was remarkable and possibly the least selfish and most understanding answer anyone could have provided for such a question. He understands those who are misunderstood by everyone else and gives a comfort to those who are cast out. I feel he wants to help others like him and even though I admit his drug use is nothing to honor, his intelligence, humor and artistic talents are. 

Art Creation: The Personal Process of Production Design (Assignment 2)

 It was 11:00pm on a Tuesday night and I had been on that stage for nine straight hours. My hands were raw and my throat dry from the mounting dust and drywall covering the floor. None of it was glamorous but the experience was one of my favorites I have had since I started involving myself in film production. It was the experience of being the production designer on a one-hour TV pilot entitled “Rx” for the course CTPR 479. Through this experience I was able to see the process of using individuals in my life to bring out the individuals in the piece through the production design.

             I had taken on the challenge at the beginning of the course not knowing what I was getting myself into. I had never worked as a production designer, let alone in the production design department. The pilot is about a doctor who prescribes marijuana for people with illnesses. However, the clinic he works for is illegally trafficking the drugs under his nose. My job was to design the set we were to build on Carson Stage and also to decorate that set and each location we shot in. The trick to being a successful production designer is to be as least noticeable as possible in your work. In order to play on the audience’s subconscious to re-enforce what the director is saying through the character’s action. There is a fine balance between emphasizing what is said and done by the characters with the set and overshadowing the dialogue and plot with loud and noticeable production design.

            My first step to discovering the characters involved in the pilot in order to create their working space involves recalling personal experiences and relationships from the past. Who do I know that smokes marijuana? Who do I know that doesn’t and how do they all feel about the drug? What experiences have I had personally with this drug? Do I know anyone who has had to use pot for a medical purpose? I make comparisons between the characters and the people I know in real life. This helps me create the environment within which these individuals would surround themselves with. In this case I was able to relate the clinic owner to my father. My father is a hippie at heart with his balding head and shoulder length thinning gray hair. However, despite his lax attitude he runs a very successful company, much like the clinic owner named Dr. Cross does in the pilot. Once I established this comparison I was able to draw inspiration from my father’s clothing, and personal belongings in order to create Dr. Cross’ space. I chose to make the office model an old house turned doctor’s office to show the more easy going side of the owner and then created the inside to look like a newly furnished and remodeled office to characterize his business side. For the waiting area I chose warm colors such as browns and tans so that it would be inviting much like my father is and I imagined Dr. Cross to be.

            In order to distinguish the opposing opinions that Dr. Cross and the main character Parker Greyson possessed, I compared Parker to someone completely opposite to my father not only in appearance but also in opinions: my brother. He reminded me of my brother who is going to medical school and is an advocate for the use of drugs such as marijuana for medicine. Like Parker my brother is straight laced in other aspects of his life and tries to conduct as normal a life as possible. Because of this straight laced and conservative side to Parker and my brother I decided to make Parker’s office contrast with the rest of the space which belongs to Dr. Cross. I thought that green, being a cool color, would contrast well with the warm colors of the waiting area and show the cleaner, almost harsher side of Parker. In order to connect the two spaces I decided to make the hallway a cream color so that the contrast would not be as noticeable and rather work at the audience’s subconscious. Along with the contrasting colors that showed the differing opinions between Parker and Dr. Cross, I found a way to represent Parker’s torn decision between staying at the clinic and helping those in need or leaving in order to find a more politically correct doctor job. I decided to break up the wall with wood trim that would be about halfway up the wall and show a distinct line between the bottom and top, representing his two choices.

            While I was choosing the color palette for the set and some of the designs I was also doing more book heavy research. I found pictures of actual pot clinics and other normal doctor offices and compared the two. Friends of mine had actually been inside a pot clinic and showed me pictures from their experiences. I also learned that on Hollywood Boulevard there are multiple clinics available to view from the road, so I took a trip. Most of these offices used vibrant color palettes and psychedelic decorations. However, because the show was not quite as flamboyant as those clinics, I decided to research regular doctor’s offices as well. These offices used more subdued color palettes and decorated with posters promoting healthy living. In order for me to combine the two I decided to decorate the office with posters promoting healthy living through marijuana use. Plants were distributed evenly throughout the set and I even decided to display a (fake) marijuana plant on the reception desk to make the clinic seem less like a normal doctor’s office.

 Along with my research of pot clinics, I searched bungalow style houses and more modern types of houses. The design of the house/clinic is crucial in developing character. It shows how much money and energy that person wants to put into their business and it can reveal personal taste and quirky characteristics of each individual. I wanted an older style house that could be seen on Hollywood Boulevard. After looking through an abundance of books from the architecture building, and images on the web, I decided to model the set after a bungalow style house. I chose this style because it gave me a chance to play with the architecture of the set. For example, I created a large square walkway into the reception area, which is characteristic of a bungalow style house and put some stain glass by the desk to make the set a little more quirky and unique. I also felt that it re-enforced the characteristics of Dr. Cross. He was quirky and old fashioned but also very warm and welcoming, much like that style of house.

Collaboration is a prominent component to any film process and this production was no exception. This was not my show, nor were any of the characters or overall themes and ideas mine. Each person’s perspective and creative ability is present in the piece of work, yet there must be a common denominator and a balance between each idea. My job was to be as creative and inventive as possible with the production design while re-enforcing the director’s ideas and main themes. Once I achieve my personal vision for the show I needed to meet with the other creative minds to get their approval. I presented my ideas for the colors and designs to the director, cinematographer and show runner to see which ones they liked. The cinematographer was concerned with the green color I had decided on for Parker’s office so we collaborated and decided that a deep, almost olive green would work better than a forest green. The director liked the idea of splitting up the wall but made sure that it would not distract from the actor’s performances. And so it went. After everyone had shared their concerns and we were set on the ideas it was time for my next step.

            Although emphasizing character and plot through the set it the most prominent and important part of my artistic process, one of the most major steps has less to do with character and more to do with logistics. Floor plans are vital and necessary and once I have a solid idea of the characters and set it is time to create a floor plan that would work for camera movements, lighting arrangements and character blocking. In order for maximum shooting options the set should be designed to look like an “L” from a bird’s eye view. The problem was choosing where each space would fit on the set. My teacher gave me a list of each flat we were able to use for the class and I was supposed to create a space with those flats. I decided to put the office in the back of the house and then connect the reception area to the office with the hallway and put doors in the hallway that lead no where but gave the audience the idea of off-screen space. Then the waiting area was connected to the reception area by an archway. Once the dimensions were set and the floor plan finalized, the set was able to come to life.

            In order to actually build the set I created an organized schedule of the next few weeks for myself. Each student from the class had to contribute ten hours of their time to the building of the set and I had to be there to supervise and distribute jobs. Every hour I was not in class I was on the stage working with the other students and my teacher. We sanded, painted, and aged the entire set in roughly two weeks. Then it was time to create its insides. The school had decorations stored from previous productions that I was able to use. I went through the boxed up storage in a day and picked out carpet, dressers, desks, lamps and various props for the following weeks.

After this process I was dirty, exhausted and proud of myself for committing so much to the characters and the process of discovering them and emphasizing their story through the set and in my eyes, succeeding. I had been completely engulfed in the production of “Rx” for the fall semester that once spring semester rolled around and my duties were finished, I was at a loss of to what to do with my time. All I wanted to do was be on set or preparing to be on set. This project was a very unique and challenging experience for me and it made me even more passionate about the art of filmmaking because I can appreciate the long hours, and dirty work that is needed in order to make a great, beautiful and successful film. 

Group Project Blog: Blog Post #6

When three film students get together with the intention of making a group art project the results will definitely involve a student film. However, the process that is taken to make that film differs with each project. Our group which involved Paul Prado and Sean McCarthy first decided to create a project that would introduce the audience to a feature film that is inspired by The Eagles song "Hotel California". Since one of our members is a screenwriting major it was decided that he would create the script while the other two helped plan and produce the final written idea. We started off with a script that mirrored the song quite literally and worked toward a film that shared the same themes as the song and more alluded to the ideas in the song. This transition from the initial script to the final one was the most interesting part of the group project experience for me. Typically I am involved in the production of a film and have very little to do with the pre-production and concept of the films I shoot. This was a chance for me to see how writers work and where the ideas these films come from. It was also fascinating to see the different between the two scripts in the action and story but to see the same themes woven into each script and kept consistent the entire time. 

Unlike other groups in the class, our group consisted of three students interested in filmmaking. Sean had come up with the idea some while back and worked closely with Paul to convey his idea in order for Paul to translate that idea into words for a script. We talked through email and made sure that each draft of the script fit into our own ideas about the project. When it got time to shoot the film we all put in our equal efforts. Sean worked the camera while Paul acted and I focused on the script to see if we were getting what we needed. 

I related to the project in almost an opposite way than Sean and Paul. This is only my second semester at USC and since the film focuses on a man having to create a new family and life for himself, I find myself doing and going through the same things here at USC. Being from Colorado and having no one I know attend USC, it really was starting over. I am learning to make new friends away from those back home. 

Personified Filmmaking

I threw the first and only punch. Her blonde hair went wild and I knew instantly I had made a mistake. My older brothers and father had been encouraging my right hook, and I took this moment to put my new technique to use. She looked at me with a mixture of disappointment and fear while I challenged her to make the next move. She did. She walked right out of the room and I didn’t talk to her for the next few days. We had been fighting for weeks. About what, I am still to this day unsure but I feel that at that exact moment, I was rebelling against everything she represented throughout our twenty years together. The whole experience made me realize who I was and who I didn’t want to be. I didn’t want to be a replica, a pair. I wanted to be an individual, and an artist, which is the farthest thing from what my sister represented. She had always been popular, accepted, normal and outgoing. I was not.

            “Gay Sex”. That was the title of my upcoming short film I had written, produced, directed and edited for my final project in the production one class offered at my local film school. I was very proud of my work and put a great amount off effort into my piece, needless to say it was close to me. Personally, I thought it was brilliant. It was about a young boy trying to come out as a homosexual to his parents while they confuse his confession for a curiosity in sex and decide to discuss the birds and the bees with him. The film was to be shown at a local theater as a semi-film premiere for all the students. I was ecstatic to show my work to others. However, my teacher was not. He insisted I changed the title to something more demure. I felt differently. I refused to believe that ideas, and thus art, should be edited. Even though I respected him greatly and did not disregard his opinions in a rude way, I simply did not change my title. Rebelling against norms via film and being able to discuss sensitive subjects through art is one of the main reasons for my passion for filmmaking. I am able to rebel against certain expectations and am not expected to edit my thoughts or art.

My sister met Chase the same day I did. We both had the same initial reaction. We were intrigued. He was wearing the bottoms of his shorts atop his head while chewing gum with a mouth full of braces. He was drunk and we were eleven years old. Chase had been my brother’s friend for quite some time and he had always been mysterious. I had never seen him until that day but had heard stories from the people around me. My mother had warned me about him and told me never to go near him. Which of course made me want to know him even more. My brother and even some of his friends would tell incriminating stories about Chase and his many romantic conquests. Many years later my brother would personally diagnose Chase as a sociopath, ending their friendship. However, I have stayed close friends with Chase for many years.

There is not a particular story involving him that has influenced my filmmaking. Instead, it has simply been him. I knew and still know to this day that he is troubled. His family dynamics are unstable and his constant drug use is not praiseworthy, but he is honest. Throughout our years together I have looked beyond his troubles to find the good in him. I have even been involved in months long fights with my brother over Chase’s character. My argument: “You don’t know him the way I know him.” My brother’s argument: “You don’t know him the way I know him.” True. But I choose to know him in a softer light. I have taken the chance of getting hurt by him in order to experience the great things he is able to offer me.  He is charismatic, artistic, loving, spontaneous and beautiful. He has enabled me to open my mind to all sorts of people and to accept them for who they are.

I am in the process of writing a feature length film about the relationship I have had with Chase. Focusing on the positive of a person who no one believes to be true and real. That script is not the only part of my filmmaking that has been inspired by him. Whenever I am trying to understand a character or write about a character, I look at the good and the bad of that person and see them as more than one-dimensional. I am also able to work well with others on set because I focus on the positive instead of the negative. I have been open-minded about the people I meet, which creates a better working experience and greater art.

            My childhood was filled with family dinners. My father would cook and friends would join in on the festivities. During one such occasion, I was lingering around the kitchen with friends including my sister, brother and Chase when I heard a strange noise. It wasn’t a crunching sound, nor really a slicing sound. It was just a messy sound. I looked in the direction of the noise in time to see the knife slice right through his thumb. My father had been cutting with such force that when the knife accidently came in contact with his thumb, it sliced it clean off.  I looked on, stunned. He yelled out in pain but was so self medicated from tequila at that point, I highly doubt he felt much of anything. His yell was more for dramatic effect. My mother stood in disbelief and disgust. My brother threw him a kitchen towel that he quickly applied to the bleeding, gnarled thumb. My mother tried to encourage him to go to the hospital for stitching and blood

but he refused. He was a stubborn old man. Instead, he thought of a brilliant plan that involved super glue and a plethora of gauze bandages. He wrapped his glued thumb all nice and neat, took a shot of tequila and went back on cooking. Unfazed. So for the next few months, my father glued his thumb and refused to see a doctor. Eventually it healed as best it could even though it looks tragically deformed.

            I have never sliced my own thumb off but figuratively speaking I have shot myself in the foot a few times. Last semester I decided to enroll in CTPR 479 and take the position of production designer for the shoot. I didn’t realize the magnitude of work involved and started to second-guess my decision. It was my first semester at USC, I was taking 18 units and I had no experience in production design. The majority of the students in the class were production graduate students. I was not even accepted into the film program yet. I was completely out of my league and wondered how the hell I even got in the class. Then, towards the beginning of the semester, the director, director of photography and production designer had to give a presentation on the look of the film. We were eaten alive. Not only the class but also the teachers attacked every color, camera movement, and character description we had presented. I was mortified and wanted to drop the class but didn’t. If my father can chop off his thumb and keep on cooking, I could get knocked down and keep on going. Later in the semester I was called on to give a presentation on my model for the set. Needless to say I was terrified. I tried to weasel my way out of it but since it was in the syllabus, it was critical I present. I drank coffee before and was hyped out of my mind. I gave the presentation at the beginning of class (thank God) and waited for the torture. But it never came. Instead, they praised my work. It might have been the coffee, but after that presentation I was off the charts giddy.

            That is why I love film. Not because of the acknowledgement you get when you have done a good job, or even a bad job, but the element of surprise, of mystery, of pain and of accomplishment. The way that I am able to be myself behind the camera. To see whom I am up on that screen when my films are played. Through filmmaking I am able to share my vision regardless if it appeals to others or not. Filmmaking allows me to rebel against everything I am not and truly be myself. I am able to share my view of people with others and show different depths and sides of individuals. Filmmaking challenges me, pushing me to the very brink. Making me ask myself if this is what I really want. But I do want it and need it. I need film in my life the way I need my sister, my best friend and my father. Like filmmaking, they are an outlet for me, a mirror into who I am and a learning experience.            

            Filmmaking is an individual and my relationship with filmmaking has been defined by my relationship with others. All the fears, tears, anxiety, pressure and beauty of a personal bond are present in my relationship with filmmaking. They, in the most general sense, are why I make art.

             

Danny Boyle: Heroin Addicts and Slumdogs (Blog Post 3)

I recently watched Danny Boyle's "Trainspotting" with a friend. Shortly after my viewing, I went to the theatre and saw his critically acclaimed (and Oscar winning) film "Slumdog Millionaire". Many people would think that of the two the latter would  be much more engaging, thought provoking and emotionally straining. However, I feel differently. 

I was excited and happy to see Boyle win the Oscar for best director a few weeks ago but my contentment was not only because I thought he deserved the award for "Slumdog Millionaire". Having seen some of his earlier work and having enjoyed "Trainspotting" was much as I did, I was happier to see him win for his collective work. I do not see "Slumdog Millionaire" as unworthy of any of its awards and acclaim, but I was quite disappointed in the film itself. I enjoy Boyle's aesthetic look and his use of bright colors and fast hand held cinematography. However, after about half an hour I felt that the quick movements and fast editing got old. Also, I noticed that the audience laughed throughout the course of the film. I don't know if it is just me but I did not find that topic to be humorous and I felt it odd that the tone of the film included humor. I wanted the film to make up its mind; was it funny or was it serious? Another aspect of the film that I felt lacked decisiveness was the character of the brother. One second he was kidnapping the young girl and cutting her face and the next second he is dying for her. That back and forth occurred so many times that I completely lost interest in his character and in the story as a whole. There seemed to be no consequences or causality in the film. The actions of the characters were absurd and I stopped believing in the story or empathizing with the characters. 

Although I am still a fan of Boyle's and enjoy his films, I am not a fan of his latest work. Even though the cinematography was pleasing and his direction and use of India was impeccable, I lost interest and belief in the characters and story which are the most important part of a film.